I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
