I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize