also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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