Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
