I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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