I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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