He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
