Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
