Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
