She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
