I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
