Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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