A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
why do cheetos always look like penises
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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