I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
