ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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