yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
