I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
