I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
