Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think people are normalizing furries
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