just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
