Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
