i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
