Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
