I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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