Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
