Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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