Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize