after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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