The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think I am morally bankrupt
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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