the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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