I wanna bring you to show and tell
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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