Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fuck me I smell like cheese
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
