Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
