..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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