people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
