they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
