i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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