We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
