i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So much rum. So many feels.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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