this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Your topless pictures make me question reality
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
