At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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