Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
