Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
