it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
