At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
