I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
