How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
we should paint friendship bongs
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
