It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
