i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
