I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i've created a new STD.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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