Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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