He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
